Winza

I need some direction. I need some direction as to what I want to achieve in life. One of the things that I am aiming for since I joined SGI is to seek happiness and to get my contract extended for the 4th term. My contract ends at the end of the month so the closer I am towards the end of August, the more I worry. Despite performing the daimoku and chanting every night, I still find myself preoccupied with my contract. I got some advice from some of my friends a while ago and because they have different opinions, I don’t know which one to follow. Everyone at work is quite happy with my work unless they are saying that only to make me happy. I even asked my team manager if there is any chance for getting my contract extended. And again, I got a positive response but no definite answer. It’s not like I can’t be bothered to find another job. I don’t want to take time off to go to interviews and I can’t take up an offer for a perm job and then get 2 weeks off in December. So I am left with another three month contract. I still don’t know what to do.

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For the past few months, I am becoming more desperate to find the answer to the question: What makes life meaningful?

In my search for answers, I started reading translated Buddhist texts and the SGIA magazine - Indigo. I figured that there are so many interpretations to life that there is no right or wrong answer. What matters most however, is that we strive to make ourselves happy in any moment and we have to face each hardship with courage and without fear. Because I really want to stop all the worries that I’ve had in the past, I began chanting two months ago. I am finding it very difficult to keep up with it everyday, even for five minutes but at the same time, I know that it is getting closer towards September, when my contract is due to end. I know that I really like the job and the company that I am working in, but the more I think about it, the more I worry. The only way to get out of it is to stop worrying, work harder and to take action.

As part of the Buddhist discussion group on Sunday, I told my fellow members about the situation I am going through and how I wanted to make my chanting more consistent. They reminded me that we are responsible for what happens to us and what we experience. Together with the encouragement my friends have given me, I am determined to set myself one goal and to chant in front of it as a means of motivation. Hopefully, this will drive me to actively enjoy each moment and do my best at everything in the hopes of accomplishing my goals - my number one priority. And even if my contract doesn’t get extended, I should not feel defeated, because at least I will have tried my best and I will have learnt a lot through this experience.

Whether I can maintain this thought is yet another challenge. In the coming weeks, I hope to persevere with faith and confidence.

From the mathematical point of view,

If A=1, B=2, C=3, D=4……..X=24, Y=25 and Z=26.

Then

Attitude = 100%

ATTITUDE IS THE KEY!

I must do my best in the remaining months in my job as a GIS officer!!! Learn as much as I can and have a positive attitude to work!!!

Tax returns:

Too many words, So many unfamiliar vocabulary, too many financial/economic jargon!!!

I hate this…!!!