Winza

At the end of the long-winded maze,
there is an intersection,
and will lead me into another world.

Throughout the maze,
are many obstacles
I had to deal with,
but the final one
is harder indeed.

The things I have drawn,
the things I have read
and the things I wrote,
make no sense to me,

the anger,
the frustration,
the pessimism,
are emotions I have.

But one thing for sure,
is that everyday
is a new day,
and every second,
is a chance for one
to reflect and to refresh.

I found this place at Waterfront City and tried it with Helen and Alan today. Very comfortable inside - with sofas and a nice view of the Docklands area and the Bolte Bridge. The hot chocolates are offered in dark, white and milk variations and it has got many different flavoured shots. I didn’t try any flavoured shots as I am not really a sweet tooth kinda person and I just had dark hot chocolate instead. The hot chocolates are slightly a bit cheaper ($4 compared to $5 for MB’s suckao) compared to Max Brenners but personally, prefer MB’s because it tastes better and there is a bit more aroma to it. Maybe the chocolates with the flavoured shots would taste better.

This is one of the flavoured shot (rose?) hot chocolates Alan had.

I spent the whole day of downloading WinXP so I can use VPC(virtual PC) and WinXP bootable. I don’t understand why Microsoft can’t make VPC free for macs, while they offer it for free for PC versions. Anyway, so I’ve spent days trying to get WinXP to install on QEmu (alternative to VPC), but it’s slow slow slow performance made the installation of WinXP 24+ hours to complete and it doesn’t even show up the start menu in the end.

While waiting for WinXP to install, I ripped off songs from The Pancakes CD I got five years ago. The Pancakes is a one girl band (dejay) from Hong Kong. Dejay arranges, writes and composes all her songs and it is quite different from normal canto-pop, which I don’t like much. Most of her songs are in English and she sings in a funny but cute way.

Besides that I haven’t done much - rushed to Apple Centre Malvern today to order a Battery Replacement. In terms of productivity, it wasn’t too bad this weekend - did a bit on the results writeup for my project, download the SEIFA stuff from ABS (that I gotta map soon week :p) and updated the methodology part.

So. Am I stressed? Yes - One big component of my final year project has been removed and remap, rewrite and reanalyse the data I obtained - this frustrates me!!@@!#!#. I don’t even know when my presentation is. I am worried that my quality of my thesis will be so bad that I will fail. My parents are pressuring me to find a job already and everybody expects me grad next year. I don’t know what will happen to me after i finish uni, if anyone would want to employ someone that’s short, child-like, unexperienced and weak. I am so stressed.

I wished everything went back to what it was 6 years ago, when petrol prices were still below $1 and the GST has not yet been implemented and I was still in high school. I am tired of uni, I am tired of everything in life. I was going to apply for a climate change officer position for next year, but everything I hit to the question about teamwork and leadership, I cancel the application. I am not even sure whether I can grad yet. And even if i grad, then what’s next? I don’t have the money and ability to do postgrad and I don’t want to apply for something when I am not 100% sure if I pass the elective and my thesis this year. It kinda feels deja vu in the sense that I am getting tired, angry and slack like I was at the end of high school. I hope something bad happens to me (maybe get involved in a car crash and get myself severely injured) soon so that I can stop worrying endless things in life.

Within One Month, I:
1. Downloaded Photoshop CS

2. Downloaded Macromedia Studio (now called Adobe Studio) for Mac and installed Flash and Dreamweaver

3. I added 512 MB RAM into my iBook (while discovering filthy human hair, cat fur, large aggregates of dust and dandruff in my keyboard and inside my iBook).

One more thing missing…
More hard drive space. The current capacity of my iBook is only 30 GB (and I have already used a third).. In order to play games and use other cool software (unfortunately most are for PC), I need more space and then install virtual PC or Q. Bugger!